i know you don't want any advice bookdust so i will just talk about my own life instead
one time i sort of got emotionally invested in this girl because we would spend a lot of time together and she would stare into my eyes and put her head on my shoulder and do stuff like that a lot
it was all going pretty well until one day when she did something that kind of pissed me off (i don't even really remember what, tbh) and then i somewhat arrogantly and perhaps unnecessarily demanded an apology from her and she decided that she was going to take a stand there even though it would have been really easy for her to just say "sorry" and be done with it. (we were both pretty stubborn kids, lol.) anyway basically we kind of hated each other's guts and then she started dating some other guy who i was friends with and it was just A TIME OF MANY CONFLICTED EMOTIONS FOR HOT, okay?
so ultimately i just didn't really talk to them that much for two years until i went home and bumped into the guy once and we then hung out for a hour and later i saw that girl again and i felt totally okay with talking to her and it reminded me of what our relationship was like before, minus the cuddling, which i didn't really have a deep need for anymore anyway. now we all like each other's dumb stuff on facebook all the time and i feel pretty good about it.
WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THIS STORY?
i think the moral is that if you are at a point where your emotions are just too much to handle, sometimes it can be better to just break off regular contact. you don't have to be mean about it, but just unfollow them on facebook and gradually stop talking to them and make up excuses if they invite you places. if you work with them, seriously consider looking for a new job. the point is that you just need that SPACE for your emotions to simmer down, and then once that happens and you don't feel as strongly about her anymore, then it will be much easier to be genuinely cool about everything and then you can be a normal friend to her instead of being secretly angsty all the time.
ok good talk, remember that i'm not talking about your personal situation, just talking about a situation from my own life that may or may not bear any similarities to your situation, so, like, don't get pissed at me