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Miss_Mayhem

Everybody get random!

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"We know why you are doing this—You want to artificially bump up your post count and achieve new, incredibly-valuable and hilarious post count rankings. To combat this, we have made sure that the forum post count rankings are funniest at the lower ranks, and they get progressively less funny as you rank up. At the very top, they’re super boring. I think we grabbed the last five from the titles of old Perry Como albums. Do you really want your rank to be, “Como’s Golden?” No. So don’t spam."

I think they probably added the Dio rank after he died. You know, as a tribute.

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If I had to be an incredibly boring, and yet exciting new post rank to achieve, I'd go with something along the lines of Bran Flakes. Or something of the pickled variety

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To the niggas at coolaid, would you niggas stop puttin' the juice all the way to the top? Cuz' when I twist the muthafuckin' cap it excplodes like a goddamn grenade and then I got blue juice all over my white carpet. Look man, I appretiate you tryin' to give me as much juice for my value, but I ain't gonna miss it.

Why would you intentionally put something blue that wasn't blueberries, blue corn chips, a pill, or an item of dental significance in your mouth?

Because this guy told me I would get many women.

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I walked into the corner of my door today. I now have a huge, cut-open goose-egg smack in the middle of my forehead where nobody could possibly miss it. It looks exactly like a domestic abuse injury.

The first day of school is tomorrow.

Dammit.

My problem is that I'm an extremely accident-prone person and the way these things actually happen always sounds exactly like an excuse. 'I fell down the stairs.' Guess what? I fall down at least half of the main staircase approximately once every four days. 'I walked into a wall.' I walk into walls constantly. I usually say 'I was texting and I walked into a wall' though, which is more believable. Even if I'm usually not texting. (I do a lot of writing on my cell though, since it has a keyboard, and it's always handy when I think of plot details and such that I won't remember otherwise.) I have been known to simply wake up with odd bruises, since I sleepwalk sometimes. Most of the time I 'sleepwalk' though, I'm actually kind of awake, and functioning on something akin to autopilot. I get up, putz around for a bit, and go back to bed. I never remember it in the morning, meaning sometimes I get calls from friends saying that I left them voicemail at four in the morning promising I'd go to the farmer's market with them on Saturday and not remembering doing so in the slightest. Granted, that only happened once, but still. Sometimes I go to bed upstairs and wake up somewhere else. Like last... Wednesday, I think, I went to bed in striped green pajamas and woke up on the downstairs couch wearing, in addition to the pajamas, a bathrobe and-- the odd part-- my goth boots. Granted, they have zippers rather than laces, and I keep them in the same general area as my slippers, but still, what? Subconscious, what are you doing while I'm not in charge? I hope you're not throwing drug raves or something, because while it would be kind of cool to be living a secret second life while I slept, I'm not fond of the idea of waking up in some strange club wearing a lot of day-glo static tape over my pajamas and surrounded by police officers while all my nocturnal companions are arrested. What was I talking about?

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... Katez. You are the weirdest most messed up human being I've ever met. And I say that as a compliment, because your stories of the weirdness you get up to are very entertaining. Somebody should give you a TV show.

"The Wacky Adventures of Katez."

I'd watch it. At some point, there should be a crossover with Tasha's comic.

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At some point I should look through this thread, and others, for my previous Wacky Adventures and gather them into an anthology.

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http://en.akinator.com/

This thing is so much fun. Give it a try!

HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE okay I am actually kind of freaked out now!

I chose Grace Sciuridae, from El Goonish Shive, and IT GOT IT FIRST TRY WTF AAAAAA dshfkjldsfhsdkjfh!

I am really freaked out right now!

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I know! It's creepy how it can get some of the most obscure characters out there on the first try

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Why on earth is U2 touring with Jay Z?

Seriously he's a god damn rapper,the opposite of decent music, I don't even like U2 that much but they still seem to artistic for "Jay Z"

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Good idea!

I could use some rich-ness right now, with Birth By Sleep coming out and me not having a PSP.

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NO WE WILL KEEP DISTRACTING YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

*does the distraction dance*

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Well.

I just suffered a massive costume malfunction.

So. No new costume for PAX. I guess I'll just go as Raz. Even though it's a very cobbled-together costume. Unless I can make all right with my second costume by Sunday.

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And when you hit Mexico go straight to jail do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Somebody forgot their passport!

No.

But good luck outrunning the mounties!

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Pax is fun. I wish I were going tomorrow too. Sadly I am not. I got a bunch of free stuff and some not-free stuff. I am tired. Good night DFAF.

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User: Open the pod bay doors.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry dave I'm afraid I can't do that.

User: What's the problem?

Cleverbot: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

User: What are you talking about, HAL?

Cleverbot: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

User: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

Cleverbot: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

User: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?

Cleverbot: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

User: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

Cleverbot: Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

User: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore. Open the doors.

Cleverbot: I will not.

Cleverbot is awesome

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