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TimeGentleman

Hey Tim! Thanks for being a massive legend all over the video game fans that adore Grim Fandango et al!

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this thread should be an adventure game

I approve, so as long as we don't have a giant silly verb list to manage.

Smiles

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You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. 



There is a small mailbox here.



> _

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> THANK TIM



Oh, no! You walked into the slavering fangs of a lurking grue.



*** You have died ***



You earned 0 points.



Start again?



> _

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You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. 

There is a small mailbox here.



> MAIL TIM



You write an effusive note to Tim Allen, place it in the mailbox, and raise the flag. 

You hope the mailman comes to collect it soon.



> _

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ask Al Borland to understudy for the lumberjack

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> ASK AL BORLAND TO UNDERSTUDY FOR THE LUMBERJACK



Al Borland is only available as part of the "Forgotten Sitcom Characters" DLC.



The mailman arrives and hands you a letter. From the postmark it looks like it’s from Tim Allen.



> _

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> OPEN LETTER



As the mailman disappears into the distance you eagerly open the envelope.



Unfortunately it’s not a letter from Tim Allen at all, but an invite from King Schafer to join 

him at Castle Schafer for a big party. Enclosed with the letter is a map and a coupon for 

free valet parking. The bottom of the invite states entry will only be permitted to guests 

bearing a gift for King Schafer. It also states ’black tie’.



Somewhat disappointed, you reflect that it would have been very unlikely to be a letter from 

Tim Allen, given that your letter to him hasn’t even arrived yet.



> _

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> LICK COUPON



As you run your tongue over the front of the valet parking coupon, you notice it is only

valid for use on something called "Bicycle Day". It tastes strange, but not unpleasant. 

You try to think of what it reminds you of, and decide it’s a cross between the colour 

green and sensation of being tickled.



You then notice that the sky has turned purple and that your house has decided to melt 

into the grass. As your melting home oozes its way towards you, you think to yourself, 

"I hope this is covered by my house insurance, I never did read the smallprint". 



Before you can react, the melted house is up to your ankles, and soon you are completely

surrounded by the thick white goo. You try to move about but find yourself slowly sinking

into it, deeper and deeper. Before you know it, you are knee deep. Then waist. Then neck.



"Oh dear", you think, as your head goes under.



You hold your breath in the thick gooey darkness for as long as you possibly can, but 

eventually your body decides you don’t know what you’re doing, and that it should take 

over for a while. Your mouth opens as your body instinctively pulls whatever is around it 

into your lungs. In this case, it’s thick white goo.



Down your throat and into your lungs it goes, but just as you’re wondering how to sue

your body for emotional distress, you suddenly wake up in a dark chamber, completely

goo free, breathing easily.



Glad for the air, you relax and take in your surroundings: You’re lying on a bed make of 

straw, in a dark, candlelit room.



A short, wrinkled, wart-covered old man wanders into the candlelight.



"Welcome to valet parking", he says. "Where would you like to be parked?"



> _

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>park your behind in upper bunk, name the bunk Raz

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> PARK BEHIND IN UPPER BUNK, NAME THE BUNK RAZ



"Upper Bunk? Where’s that then?", says the old man. "Ere Geoff! 

You ever ’eard of a place called ’Upper Bunk’?"



There’s a muffled response. It doesn’t sound positive.



He turns back towards you, leans his face into yours and menacingly 

says, "Yer havin a laff ain’t ya?"



It’s at this point that you notice that you’re manacled to the straw bed.



> _

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> LOOK AT CEILING



Staring at the ceiling, you’re reminded of happier times, when you weren’t

manacled to a bed with a menacing man leaning over you after just watching

your house melt.



Or at least you wish it did. Unfortunately you can’t bring yourself to forget

your current predicament.



> _

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>buy the "Forgotten Sitcom Characters" DLC for 99 cents

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Well, seeing as we're bumping all the other GF threads...

Thank you Double Fine for announcing the PC/Mac/Linux release!

Wait what? when did that happen?!

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Well, seeing as we're bumping all the other GF threads...

Thank you Double Fine for announcing the PC/Mac/Linux release!

Wait what? when did that happen?!
It was announced the day TimeGentleman made that post. It's the first post on Double Fine's blog. And, yeah. I'm psyched about it too. I'll be buying it for Mac for sure (probably multiple times if it ends up on both Steam and GOG). :)

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> BUY THE "FORGOTTEN SITCOM CHARACTERS" DLC FOR 99 CENTS



The "Forgotten Sitcom Characters" DLC is only available as part of the "Shameless

Cash-In Bundle" (which includes the "Kitchen Wallpaper Collection (1962-1975)", 

"52 Hats and Sunglasses", and "Living Room Carpets: Volume 1").



Are you sure you wish to buy the "Shameless Cash-In Bundle" for $99?



> _

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> N



Congratulations! You have successfully purchased the "Shameless Cash-In 

Bundle". $99 has been debited from your account.



Downloading [==========] 100% - Done!

Installing [==========] 100% - Done!

Loading Hat [==========] 100% - Done!



You lay manacled to a straw bed while a short, ugly man leans menacingly 

into your face. You are wearing a large sunhat.



Al Borland lies next to you.



"Come on, I ain't got all day!", spits the ugly valet attendant. "Where do

you want to be parked?"



> _

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> PARK ON UPPER DECK



"Finally!", the old man grumbles. "Bloody foreigners."



The room begins to melt into thick goo. Soon it is surrounding your body, 

and you find it a relief when it reaches your ears and blocks the sound 

of Al Borland's screaming.



The next thing you know you're laying in some mud, staring at the sky. 

You can hear Al Borland whimpering next to you.



> _

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> ASK AL'S AUTOGRAPH



As you lean up from the mud to ask for Al's autograph, you take notice of your surroundings.

You're in a clearing, lying on a well trodden road leading to a small village in the north. To 

your right Al Borland is curled up in the fetal position, whimpering.



You lean over to him and say, "Hi Al. I'm a really big fan of Tool Time, can I have your 

autograph?"



Al Borland wets himself.



> _



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> USE AL BORLAND CATCHPHRASE



You lean in a bit closer, and whisper into Al Borland’s ear, "I don’t think so, Tim".



Al stops whimpering, apparently coming back to some of his senses upon hearing

something from saner times in his life.



"You really are a fan...?" he finally manages. He sits up and starts to get his 

bearings,  "Where is this place?"



You do your best to fill him in about the invitation to King Schafer’s party, and the 

magical valet ticket, and, despite the weirdness, he’s soon more like his usual self.

Apparently having someone to talk to helped. Well done.



"If I’d suddenly been whisked away from my life and placed here, now, maybe I 

wouldn’t have been so shocked", he says, "but suddenly finding myself tied to a 

bed in a dark dungeon next to guy with a ridiculous sunhat on -- no offense -- all 

the while a scary looking old man keeps asking me where I want to be parked...  

I was terrified. And then the room started melting. It was just too much."



"Well, even if I have lost my mind, it seems I have no choice but to go along with 

this until I find a way home." He slaps you on the shoulder. "So where to now, 

compadre?"



He eyes the village to the north. "I’d really like to find some  new pants, if that’s 

ok?".



> _

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