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TimeGentleman

Hey Tim! Thanks for being a massive legend all over the video game fans that adore Grim Fandango et al!

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If he survives...

> give pen to Al

(...and hope he doesn't stab us back.)

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> STAB AL IN ARTERY WITH PEN



Red hot blood sprays the room. The shocked look on Al’s face will haunt your dreams forever. As

he falls to the floor, he tries to say something, but it comes out in a horrible gurgling mess. The sound

of which will also haunt your dreams forever. "Why... why when the ink... was right... "



The light goes out of his eyes, and he lies there a dead and broken man.



Or that’s something like what you were expecting. The reality was very different. For a start, when it

comes right down to it, you don’t really know where the main artery is. I mean you know roughly, but

not down to the tip of a pen. Secondly, it’s actually a lot harder to break the skin with a pen than you’d 

imagined -- Hollywood, tsk. As a result Al has plenty of time to react to your attempt, and 

unfortunately for you, Al is a man who builds things for a living, and so has the strength and stamina

that goes along with that. 



You, on the other hand, haven’t done and exercise during the entire game. The closest you came to

breaking a sweat was when you house melted, and that was only through worry. Al easily stops you 

from turning him into a human inkwell, and soon you’re out of breath and not a little embarrassed. 

Al looks disappointed in you, and says, "I don’t think so, PC."



This new Al is quite annoying, you think to yourself.



> GIVE PEN TO AL



Al looks at the pen, and hands it back. "You keep it", he says, "Oh, and I’ve been meaning to ask you, 

what's with the blue tongue?".



> _ 

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> DIP PEN ON TONGUE



The tip of the pen drips with thick blue ink.



> WRITE AL BORLAND AN APOLOGY



You spend the next two hours carefully constructing a well crafted apology for Al. Luckily you have just enough ink

on your tongue to complete the thing, getting across all you want to say. You sign ´The Player Character´ with the 

final drops, and read over the letter, admiring your wordsmithing.



You hand the finished document over to Al who, having been sat over your shoulder the whole time you were writing 

it, has no need to read it.



"That´s a good letter, thanks. But I would have much rather have used that ink to escape here. Wouldn´t you?"



It´s at this point that the door opens and one of the posted guards walks in carrying food. In terms of 

strength, he appears to be to Al, what Al is to you. You wonder if he was designed to look that big and powerful,

or if the rebel NPCs have found a way to alter their player stats. 



"Some grub for you. We don´t know when you last ate, and we wouldn´t want our favorite prisoner going hungry, 

would we?", he says while setting a tray of food down on the floor. He then notices the letter in Al´s hand.



"What´s this? Attempting to get word out to your sympathizers?". He grabs the letter, pulls out some DLC reading

Glasses that would make Elton John blush, and starts reading the letter. Amazingly, by the time he finishes he is a 

blubbering mess. "I didn´t know the Player Character felt so sorry for how he´s treated us NPCs", he sniffs. "Maybe

you're not as cold and heartless as I've I been told. I'll be honest with you, I'm questioning my allegiances."



He turns to Al, and asks, "What did he to do you that made him to write you such a heartfelt letter?".



"He tried to stab me in the neck so he had some ink for his pen", says Al.



The guard looks appalled. He scrunches up the letter into a ball and throws it out the window. "Bloody Player 

Character!", he says, and stomps out of the room, locking the door behind him.



You look at Al. He looks as resolute as ever to help you, and also, your mind wanders, not a little unlike a chubby 

Braveheart, with that beard and blue ink streak across his face.



"All you need is a kilt!", you say. Al looks back at you blankly, having no idea what you're talking about. 



> _

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> ASK AL TO STICK OUT TONGUE



Al does as you request, but not without asking, "You're not about to stab me in the tongue, are you?".



> _



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> USE PEN ON AL'S BLUE STREAK



The ink on Al's face dried while you were writing your apology. You could probably use the ink if you moisten it. 



> _

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> USE AL'S TONGUE ON AL'S FACE



It takes a lot of effort, and a lot of groaning from Al, but you manage get Al's tongue to lick all the ink 

off of his cheek are forehead. If Al could talk properly, he'd tell you he was impressed. 



Al's tongue is now blue, and a bit swollen. 



> _ 



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I'm also wondering if the bit earlier about NPCs altering their stats was a hint as to what we could do with the pen...

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TimeGentleman (co-author of the Ben and Dan games) wrote a funny text adventure here: http://timegentleman.itch.io/the-often-ending-story It's very amusing and you should all check it out!


> USE PEN ON AL'S TONGUE



The pen drips blue. Al's swollen tongue probably has enough ink for three more dips. What will you do with your fully 

inked pen?



> DRAW OPEN DOOR



You start to draw an open door on the wall, but as soon as you complete the outline of the doorway, the wall disappears

leaving a hole. Both you and Al are astonished. You now have a doorway next to the large open window that looks out 

onto the hills in the distance.



"Whal did yol cholse thad woll?", asks Al.



> _

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> Draw open door small enough next to existing locked door that Al can't get out.

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> DRAW OPEN DOOR SMALL ENOUGH NEXT TO EXISTING LOCKED DOOR THAT AL CAN’T GET OUT



You dip the pen on Al’s blue swollen tongue again. You estimate you have two more dips left. 



You turn to the wall with the door on it, crouch down and outline a small rectangle that you think you could 

fit through, but that Al couldn’t. As soon as the rectangle is completed, the section of wall disappears.



Through the hole you see the calves of one of the scary looking guards that stands outside your door.



You hear the guards talking to each other.



"I swear, I just want to rip his head off."

"You know what the boss says..."

"Yeah, yeah. Keep them safe. But sometimes..."

"Look, I’ll take the food in next time, OK?"

"Yeah. OK, thanks."



"Whab abou bab wol?", says Al, indicating the wall opposite the one with the window and second door.



> _



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> FOLLOW AL’S ADVICE AND DRAW A DOOR ON THE WALL HE POINTED TO



You dip the pen on Al’s tongue, leaving just enough for you to draw one more thing.



With the pen dripping with Al spit and ink, you walk over to the wall opposite the window and draw a fresh 

rectangle. Once completed it immediately disappears leaving a large hole into pitch blackness.



"Thscwarwey", says Al.



Dare you enter?



> _

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> ENTER OMINOUS BLACK HOLE



You take one step forward and immediately fall down the chimney you just walked into. Luckily the fire at the 

bottom wasn’t lit. You and your suave tuxedo are completely covered in soot.



A cloud of soot falls on you, covering you even more, and Al’s feet appear above your head. He is apparently stuck.



"I don’t think so, Al", you think to yourself.



You blink your eyes and look out into the room.



It looks like a throne room.



> _



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> BID AL FAREWELL AND CAREFULLY STEP INTO THE THRONE ROOM



You’re about to abandon Al and step into the vast throne room when the door at the far left of the hall 

opens. In walks the senior guard, what looks like a farmer, six huge guards, and King Schafer himself.



Being covered in soot in a fire blackened fireplace, nobody notices you. As they walk across the room,

towards the throne at the far right of the room, you overhear the conversation between the senior guard 

and the farmer.



The farmer is saying, "You can’t seriously be trying to tell me that this is the abode of a simple pig

farmer?"



"What’s the matter, jealous?", responds King Schafer.



"It’s clear that everyone here is breaking the game code and rising above their station!"



"Nonsense, I’ve just been VERY successful at pig farming."



"Then what’s all this ’King Schafer’ business?"



"I don’t know what you’re referring to. I am merely Tim of Leg End, a humble denizen of these regions."



"Then why is there a throne in here?"



"What, this?", responds Tim innocently. "This just happens to be a very comfy chair that only I’m allowed

to sit on."



"This is futile!", fumes the farmer. "Just remember that you once had a job to do. As soon as we find

the Player Character, they’re going to put things back to the way they should be."



"Right", chuckles King Schafer sinisterly, "as soon as you find the Player Character..."



With that, the farmer storms back out the throne room, followed by two guards. As soon as he leaves, 

King Schafer pulls out a crown from underneath his throne and puts it on his head. "Ahhh, I love my 

crown", he sighs.



"I worry we’re tipping our hand too early, my Lord", says the senior guard. "We’re getting careless."



"It won’t matter soon enough", responds King Schafer. "How’s my army coming along?"



"Very well. We’ve made some real progress today", says the senior guard, and pushes her hand flat 

on a stone behind the throne. A doorway opens up, and the group disappears into it. The wall closes

up behind them.



> _

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>climb back down the chimney after Rooc made us climb back up. (assume it was to burn calories) and scamper across the floor in an attempt to avoid king Schafer.

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The group disappeared through a secret passage so hopefully we'll be safe to at least take a look around...

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> CLIMB BACK UP CHIMNEY



You decide the best thing to do is return to your cell, and start climbing back up the chimney. Unfortunately 

Al is still stuck in it, so all you end up doing is getting a face full of Al’s crotch. He struggles and says 

something, but it’s all muffled in the chimney.



In a surprising turn, nobody walks in.



> CLIMB BACK DOWN THE CHIMNEY AND SCAMPER ACROSS THE FLOOR IN AN ATTEMPT TO AVOID KING SCHAFER



You decide that you’ve had enough of Al’s crotch in your face and drop back down into the huge fireplace. 

You then make your best "scampering" pose (you hope you look a little like Spider-Man) and start 

carefully making your way around the vast empty room, hoping nobody sees you.



After a while of trying to look inconspicuous in a big empty room, while leaving huge sooty footprints 

everywhere, you begin to wonder if you’ve suffered some sort of aneurysm.



> _



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