Hey Tim! Thanks for being a massive legend all over the video game fans that adore Grim Fandango et al!

[The Milkman™]

> GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG.

The man has spoken and the Wookiees rejoice:

[flesk]

> GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG.

Especially TimeGentleman and ThunderPeel.

[Tinche]

Tim interacted with me on Twitter a few times.

I won't lie, it felt pretty good. <3

Also a shout out to Oliver for being responsive too

[TimeGentleman]

> GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG.

Yaaay!

I'm not sure whether that command will work in the game, so just in case I'll have a go as well. I just re-read, and realised the parking valet thing transported us last time. Let's see if it still does anything.

>lick coupon

[Jenni]

> GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG.

Yay! Don't mind me if I refuse to let go.

[ThunderPeel]

> PICK UP MACGYVER PAPERCLIP



The jailers weren’t thoughtful enough to leave one lying around for you to escape with.



> GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG



Congratulations, you have successfully killed everyone on the forum.



> LICK COUPON



The walls start melting again, and Al starts whimpering. Before you know it you’re both

back to being manacled to the bed with a menacing old man leaning over you.



This time you’re slightly more relaxed and notice more things about your surroundings. 

It appears to be yet another stone dungeon lit by candlelight, and the scary old man

actually looks like some sort of goblin creature.



"Valet pa-- Oh, it’s you again. Where do you want me to park your butt this time?",

he spits.



> _

[Rooc]

> Leg end

[TimeGentleman]

Yessss, good work Rooc!

[ThunderPeel]

> LEG END



The goblin creature looks at you strangely for a moment. "Not many people visit such a remote village

as Leg End", he says. "Or they didn’t used to..." He seems to be pondering something, but before you 

can ask him anything, the walls are melting and you’re outside on the grass again.



You look up. Al is lying next to you, a little shaken, but otherwise ok. You can see rolling hills and 

farmland for miles in every direction. On a mountain in the distance you think you see a castle. But

the closest an most prominent feature on the landscape is the village of what you assume to be 

Leg End.



Unlike Upper Dreck, Leg End is clean, open and sprawling. There are lots of buildings, all apparently in the

best condition, with lots of adornments. It looks like everyone in the village has gone nuts on decorating. 

From garden gnomes to sunchairs, it’s an incongruous garish mess. Plus everyone in the town is 

wearing a silly hat.



Someone who appears to be a representative of the village gallops over on a horse towards you. He looks

completely out of place in Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. His ensemble is topped off with an

oversized sheriff’s hat and badge. He looks at your sunhat and smiles. "Welcome to the totally normal 

village of Leg End, where everything is totally normal". He winks at you.



He glances at Al and does a double-take. His face goes pale. The rider looks back at you with shock in 

his eyes.



"I... don’t suppose you’re here for King Schafer’s celebrations?", he asks.



> _

[TimeGentleman]

>Y

[Rooc]

es!

[ThunderPeel]

> YES



"Well that’s great news!", he responds. "Please follow me and I’ll take you directly

to the King’s men."



He starts leading you towards a building in the town’s center. As you follow the man

and his horse, you feel sun on your skin, and a warm breeze across your face. You 

feel glad that you’re getting close to your goal. All feels right in the world.



Pantless Al Borland whispers into your ear, "Something odd about this place, I

don’t like it..."



You wish Al would shut up.



Unfortunately his little seed of doubt has burrowed its way into your subconsciousness

and you find yourself examining the town more closely.



Sure enough things do appear a little odd. Not bad exactly, just unusual. Every building 

has every imaginable adornment, and every town’s folk is wearing ridiculous clothes. 

You see someone that reminds you of Becky from "Roseanne", and then someone else 

who you swear is Joey from "Blossom".



You can’t help but wonder what it all means.



You reach your destination, the central office of the King’s Guard. The sheriff leans

down from his horse and talks to the guard outside. "I have a visitor for you...", 

indicating to you and Al. The guard runs inside and returns with a senior looking guard.



The senior guard eyes you coolly and says, "I’ve been told you’re here for King Schafer’s 

celebrations." She glances at Al Borland, "I see you’ve brought a gift. Good. But isn’t 

there something else you’ve forgotten?"



> _

[flesk]

> Take off pants

[TimeGentleman]

>use pants as tie

(hope I got in there in time, not sure how this engine works...)

[ThunderPeel]

> TAKE OFF PANTS



The senior guard’s eyes bulge. Glancing at Pantless Al Borland, she asks, "Do you two

have issues with pants?"



> USE PANTS AS TIE



She can’t help herself, and emits a laugh. "I have to applaud your ingenuity, that is 

indeed a bow-tie, but I can’t allow just anyone with a pair of pants around their neck

to pass. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us." She frowns but adds, "Since you’ve shown

such imaginative thinking, I will give you a pointer, though."



The senior guard steps out into the street and points to a building in the distance.



"If you really are King Schafer’s the guest of honor, you will find what you’re looking for 

at the Shooting Gallery."



You look at where she’s pointing and see a building with a giant top hat on its roof.



"Good luck", she says and walks back inside. The sheriff immediately dismounts and 

follows her inside, apparently a little worried about something.



As you stare at the building, Al turns to you and asks, "If you’re not going to use those 

pants as pants, could I borrow them?"



> _

[TimeGentleman]

>give pants to Al

[ThunderPeel]

> GIVE PANTS TO AL



"Woohoo! Pants!", says Al, and runs off excitedly.



You suddenly realise that you had your entire inventory in your pants pockets. You really

hope that you don't need any of that stuff. 



Your legs also feel a little cold.



> _

[Rooc]

> Yell to Al he has a rat in his pants!

[ThunderPeel]

> YELL TO AL HE HAS A RAT IN HIS PANTS!



Al doesn’t seem to hear you at first, but then it registers what you yelled. His movements

become erratic, and you hear him shriek. He looks to be in a state of panic as he awkwardly

disappears around a corner.



You chuckle to yourself.



As you begin to decide what to do next, you feel some rustling and a squeak coming from 

your upper back. You sigh.



> _

[TimeGentleman]

>go to shooting gallery

[ThunderPeel]

> GO TO SHOOTING GALLERY



You get to the so-called "Shooting Gallery", not sure what to expect. It appears to be nothing more than a glorified

carnival style-shooting gallery. Instead of ducks that go by, it's hats.



The game operator is wearing a rag-tax mixture of different types of suits. He yells at you, even though you're only

two feet away, "Step right up! Come and have a FREE go at the Shooting Gallery!" He looks at your bare legs. "Win

a new suit!!!!", he yells.



Do you want to play the carnival game?



> _ 

[Rooc]

> ask for the terms for using the gallery

[ThunderPeel]

> ASK FOR THE TERMS USING THE GALLERY



"Well you're a suspicious one, ain't you?", says the game operator. "Nothing wrong with 

being cautious though". He adds under his breath, "Even if it does brazenly call into 

question my integrity as a businessman..."



He ruffles around behind the building and eventually hands you a very long scroll.



"Enjoy", he adds sarcastically.



> _

[Rooc]

> Gulp, wet pants....

[TimeGentleman]

We have no pants on, you fool!

[ThunderPeel]

> GULP, WET PANTS...



Seeing as you’re not wearing any pants you decide to take a look at the scroll instead. It reads like endless

gobbledegook. In fact, you’re pretty sure that’s exactly what it is. Occasionally you see words you recognize, though.

"PRIZES", "TUXEDO", "POINTS", "BOND", and "WIN", are words that leap out at you. But so are the less promising, 

"DEATH", "GAME OVER", "STRIPPED NAKED", "MINUS POINTS", and "NON-RETURNABLE EXCHANGE".



"Satisfied? I haven’t got all day, you know", says the game operator. "Ok, well I do. But the bottom line is: You shoot 

some hats, you win some prizes. So?"



> _

[Rooc]

(Al must have been out of range)

> shoot hats

[ThunderPeel]

> SHOOT HATS



"Woah there, trigger happy. I admire your eagerness, but you’re going to need a pistol first." The

game operator hands you a pistol that’s tethered to the building and apparently only shoots air.



"Now, there’s 10 hats that go by. Depending on how many you hit, you get a prize. Sometimes

it’s a good prize. Sometimes it’s a booby-prize. But you know that, you’ve read the terms and

conditions." He chuckles.



You feel uneasy about this, but before you can back out again he shouts, "Ready? Go!", and the 

game springs to life. Lots of dummy targets fly by, and soon the first hat appears.



You quickly decide you’ll make a concerted effort to his a specific number of hats. 



How many do you want to try and hit?



> _ 

[Rooc]

>try for 10 hit 8

[ThunderPeel]

> TRY FOR 10 HIT 8



You try for 10, but you realistically assume you’re going to hit eight. This is your first go, after all.



The first hat appears. You aim, then fire... but MISS!



The score counter remains on 000. Not a great start, but there’s still nine left, you remind yourself.



You spot the second hat. You aim and fire... MISS AGAIN.



"This thing is rigged!", you fume. The gamer operator just laughs. The score counter still reads 000.



Third hat... You aim, fire, and hear a loud ding as the hat spins into the air. It’s a HIT! 



The score counter reads 001.



"Finally!", you think to yourself. "Maybe I’m getting the hang of this."



Fourth hat... Ding! Another HIT! The score counter reads 002.



You try to keep focussed, not wanting to lose this streak. 



Fifth hat... Ding! HIT!



"I’m awesome!", you think yourself, and nearly miss the sixth hat, but don’t. Ding! HIT!



The score counter now reads 004.



Four more hats to go. You try to refocus your attention again, breathing calm. Another target suddenly 

jumps up. Inexplicably, it’s a bat. You nearly hit it, but stop yourself in the nick of time.



"Ooh", teases the game operator, "Close one. Nearly sudden death!"



That doesn’t help your nerves, but luckily the next three appear in quick succession. Seventh, eighth,

ninth. Ding! Ding! Ding!



Just one more to go, and as luck would have it, the last one is a gimme. An oversized hat 

appears in the center of the game. You couldn’t miss if you tried. "Ha!", you laugh, as you take

aim for the last time, "I guessed exactly right! Eight hits!"



Suddenly the rat in your clothes runs down your arm and bites your wrist just as you pull the trigger.

Your aim is thrown way off and you somehow miss the easiest target in the entire game.



You curse the damned rat, but before you can do anything it’s burrowed itself somewhere in

your clothes again. The game operator doubles over, laughing. "That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever

seen!", he spits, "Nobody ever misses the last one!". He holds his sides in laughter.



The final score counter reads: 007.



"Too bad, my son!", he says, drying his eyes, "No prize for y--"



His laughter is interrupted by sudden sound of the James Bond Theme blaring from nowhere. It’s 

incongruous in these surroundings, to say the least. The game operator looks completely befuddled.



In the center of the game a prize suddenly appears; A pristine black tuxedo.



** ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "NOBODY DOES IT BETTER (IN LEG END)" **



The game operator’s eyes boggle at you. You thought you’d seen boggling before, but now you

realise that everything you’d ever seen prior to this was only mild surprise. Here was the real deal. 

This was boggling. You couldn’t imagine a stranger a look from him if you’d spontaneously 

turned into a giant turnip and started doing a funny little dance. You check yourself to make this 

hasn’t, in fact, happened.



"That prize doesn’t unlock for anyone", he manages, "except..."



"We’ll take it from here, game operator". You turn around and see the senior guard. Apparently 

she’d been watching from a distance with two of the king’s guards. "That suit looks good on you."



Sure enough, you look down and see that you’re wearing the tuxedo. Your old clothes have 

disappeared to god knows where. It’s a little unsettling to have your attire change without notice,

and you find yourself feeling strangely calmed by the familiar furry rustling in your pants.



"I’d say it’s time you met the king, wouldn’t you?", the senior guard says, "but I think we can

lose the sunhat now, yes?"



She pulls the sunhat off your head and sends it flying into the air.



"Well?", she asks.



> _