The Milkman™ Posted August 1, 2014 > GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG. The man has spoken and the Wookiees rejoice: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flesk Posted August 1, 2014 > GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG. Especially TimeGentleman and ThunderPeel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tinche Posted August 1, 2014 Tim interacted with me on Twitter a few times. I won't lie, it felt pretty good. <3 Also a shout out to Oliver for being responsive too Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimeGentleman Posted August 1, 2014 > GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG. Yaaay! I'm not sure whether that command will work in the game, so just in case I'll have a go as well. I just re-read, and realised the parking valet thing transported us last time. Let's see if it still does anything. >lick coupon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jenni Posted August 1, 2014 > GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG. Yay! Don't mind me if I refuse to let go. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 1, 2014 > PICK UP MACGYVER PAPERCLIP The jailers weren’t thoughtful enough to leave one lying around for you to escape with. > GIVE EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM AN ENORMOUS, BOA-CONSTRICTOR-LIKE HUG Congratulations, you have successfully killed everyone on the forum. > LICK COUPON The walls start melting again, and Al starts whimpering. Before you know it you’re both back to being manacled to the bed with a menacing old man leaning over you. This time you’re slightly more relaxed and notice more things about your surroundings. It appears to be yet another stone dungeon lit by candlelight, and the scary old man actually looks like some sort of goblin creature. "Valet pa-- Oh, it’s you again. Where do you want me to park your butt this time?", he spits. > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimeGentleman Posted August 1, 2014 Yessss, good work Rooc! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 2, 2014 > LEG END The goblin creature looks at you strangely for a moment. "Not many people visit such a remote village as Leg End", he says. "Or they didn’t used to..." He seems to be pondering something, but before you can ask him anything, the walls are melting and you’re outside on the grass again. You look up. Al is lying next to you, a little shaken, but otherwise ok. You can see rolling hills and farmland for miles in every direction. On a mountain in the distance you think you see a castle. But the closest an most prominent feature on the landscape is the village of what you assume to be Leg End. Unlike Upper Dreck, Leg End is clean, open and sprawling. There are lots of buildings, all apparently in the best condition, with lots of adornments. It looks like everyone in the village has gone nuts on decorating. From garden gnomes to sunchairs, it’s an incongruous garish mess. Plus everyone in the town is wearing a silly hat. Someone who appears to be a representative of the village gallops over on a horse towards you. He looks completely out of place in Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. His ensemble is topped off with an oversized sheriff’s hat and badge. He looks at your sunhat and smiles. "Welcome to the totally normal village of Leg End, where everything is totally normal". He winks at you. He glances at Al and does a double-take. His face goes pale. The rider looks back at you with shock in his eyes. "I... don’t suppose you’re here for King Schafer’s celebrations?", he asks. > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 3, 2014 > YES "Well that’s great news!", he responds. "Please follow me and I’ll take you directly to the King’s men." He starts leading you towards a building in the town’s center. As you follow the man and his horse, you feel sun on your skin, and a warm breeze across your face. You feel glad that you’re getting close to your goal. All feels right in the world. Pantless Al Borland whispers into your ear, "Something odd about this place, I don’t like it..." You wish Al would shut up. Unfortunately his little seed of doubt has burrowed its way into your subconsciousness and you find yourself examining the town more closely. Sure enough things do appear a little odd. Not bad exactly, just unusual. Every building has every imaginable adornment, and every town’s folk is wearing ridiculous clothes. You see someone that reminds you of Becky from "Roseanne", and then someone else who you swear is Joey from "Blossom". You can’t help but wonder what it all means. You reach your destination, the central office of the King’s Guard. The sheriff leans down from his horse and talks to the guard outside. "I have a visitor for you...", indicating to you and Al. The guard runs inside and returns with a senior looking guard. The senior guard eyes you coolly and says, "I’ve been told you’re here for King Schafer’s celebrations." She glances at Al Borland, "I see you’ve brought a gift. Good. But isn’t there something else you’ve forgotten?" > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimeGentleman Posted August 3, 2014 >use pants as tie (hope I got in there in time, not sure how this engine works...) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 5, 2014 > TAKE OFF PANTS The senior guard’s eyes bulge. Glancing at Pantless Al Borland, she asks, "Do you two have issues with pants?" > USE PANTS AS TIE She can’t help herself, and emits a laugh. "I have to applaud your ingenuity, that is indeed a bow-tie, but I can’t allow just anyone with a pair of pants around their neck to pass. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us." She frowns but adds, "Since you’ve shown such imaginative thinking, I will give you a pointer, though." The senior guard steps out into the street and points to a building in the distance. "If you really are King Schafer’s the guest of honor, you will find what you’re looking for at the Shooting Gallery." You look at where she’s pointing and see a building with a giant top hat on its roof. "Good luck", she says and walks back inside. The sheriff immediately dismounts and follows her inside, apparently a little worried about something. As you stare at the building, Al turns to you and asks, "If you’re not going to use those pants as pants, could I borrow them?" > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimeGentleman Posted August 5, 2014 >give pants to Al Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 6, 2014 > GIVE PANTS TO AL "Woohoo! Pants!", says Al, and runs off excitedly. You suddenly realise that you had your entire inventory in your pants pockets. You really hope that you don't need any of that stuff. Your legs also feel a little cold. > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rooc Posted August 6, 2014 > Yell to Al he has a rat in his pants! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 6, 2014 > YELL TO AL HE HAS A RAT IN HIS PANTS! Al doesn’t seem to hear you at first, but then it registers what you yelled. His movements become erratic, and you hear him shriek. He looks to be in a state of panic as he awkwardly disappears around a corner. You chuckle to yourself. As you begin to decide what to do next, you feel some rustling and a squeak coming from your upper back. You sigh. > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimeGentleman Posted August 7, 2014 >go to shooting gallery Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 7, 2014 > GO TO SHOOTING GALLERY You get to the so-called "Shooting Gallery", not sure what to expect. It appears to be nothing more than a glorified carnival style-shooting gallery. Instead of ducks that go by, it's hats. The game operator is wearing a rag-tax mixture of different types of suits. He yells at you, even though you're only two feet away, "Step right up! Come and have a FREE go at the Shooting Gallery!" He looks at your bare legs. "Win a new suit!!!!", he yells. Do you want to play the carnival game? > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rooc Posted August 7, 2014 > ask for the terms for using the gallery Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 9, 2014 > ASK FOR THE TERMS USING THE GALLERY "Well you're a suspicious one, ain't you?", says the game operator. "Nothing wrong with being cautious though". He adds under his breath, "Even if it does brazenly call into question my integrity as a businessman..." He ruffles around behind the building and eventually hands you a very long scroll. "Enjoy", he adds sarcastically. > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimeGentleman Posted August 9, 2014 We have no pants on, you fool! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 9, 2014 > GULP, WET PANTS... Seeing as you’re not wearing any pants you decide to take a look at the scroll instead. It reads like endless gobbledegook. In fact, you’re pretty sure that’s exactly what it is. Occasionally you see words you recognize, though. "PRIZES", "TUXEDO", "POINTS", "BOND", and "WIN", are words that leap out at you. But so are the less promising, "DEATH", "GAME OVER", "STRIPPED NAKED", "MINUS POINTS", and "NON-RETURNABLE EXCHANGE". "Satisfied? I haven’t got all day, you know", says the game operator. "Ok, well I do. But the bottom line is: You shoot some hats, you win some prizes. So?" > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rooc Posted August 9, 2014 (Al must have been out of range) > shoot hats Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 9, 2014 > SHOOT HATS "Woah there, trigger happy. I admire your eagerness, but you’re going to need a pistol first." The game operator hands you a pistol that’s tethered to the building and apparently only shoots air. "Now, there’s 10 hats that go by. Depending on how many you hit, you get a prize. Sometimes it’s a good prize. Sometimes it’s a booby-prize. But you know that, you’ve read the terms and conditions." He chuckles. You feel uneasy about this, but before you can back out again he shouts, "Ready? Go!", and the game springs to life. Lots of dummy targets fly by, and soon the first hat appears. You quickly decide you’ll make a concerted effort to his a specific number of hats. How many do you want to try and hit? > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderPeel Posted August 10, 2014 > TRY FOR 10 HIT 8 You try for 10, but you realistically assume you’re going to hit eight. This is your first go, after all. The first hat appears. You aim, then fire... but MISS! The score counter remains on 000. Not a great start, but there’s still nine left, you remind yourself. You spot the second hat. You aim and fire... MISS AGAIN. "This thing is rigged!", you fume. The gamer operator just laughs. The score counter still reads 000. Third hat... You aim, fire, and hear a loud ding as the hat spins into the air. It’s a HIT! The score counter reads 001. "Finally!", you think to yourself. "Maybe I’m getting the hang of this." Fourth hat... Ding! Another HIT! The score counter reads 002. You try to keep focussed, not wanting to lose this streak. Fifth hat... Ding! HIT! "I’m awesome!", you think yourself, and nearly miss the sixth hat, but don’t. Ding! HIT! The score counter now reads 004. Four more hats to go. You try to refocus your attention again, breathing calm. Another target suddenly jumps up. Inexplicably, it’s a bat. You nearly hit it, but stop yourself in the nick of time. "Ooh", teases the game operator, "Close one. Nearly sudden death!" That doesn’t help your nerves, but luckily the next three appear in quick succession. Seventh, eighth, ninth. Ding! Ding! Ding! Just one more to go, and as luck would have it, the last one is a gimme. An oversized hat appears in the center of the game. You couldn’t miss if you tried. "Ha!", you laugh, as you take aim for the last time, "I guessed exactly right! Eight hits!" Suddenly the rat in your clothes runs down your arm and bites your wrist just as you pull the trigger. Your aim is thrown way off and you somehow miss the easiest target in the entire game. You curse the damned rat, but before you can do anything it’s burrowed itself somewhere in your clothes again. The game operator doubles over, laughing. "That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!", he spits, "Nobody ever misses the last one!". He holds his sides in laughter. The final score counter reads: 007. "Too bad, my son!", he says, drying his eyes, "No prize for y--" His laughter is interrupted by sudden sound of the James Bond Theme blaring from nowhere. It’s incongruous in these surroundings, to say the least. The game operator looks completely befuddled. In the center of the game a prize suddenly appears; A pristine black tuxedo. ** ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "NOBODY DOES IT BETTER (IN LEG END)" ** The game operator’s eyes boggle at you. You thought you’d seen boggling before, but now you realise that everything you’d ever seen prior to this was only mild surprise. Here was the real deal. This was boggling. You couldn’t imagine a stranger a look from him if you’d spontaneously turned into a giant turnip and started doing a funny little dance. You check yourself to make this hasn’t, in fact, happened. "That prize doesn’t unlock for anyone", he manages, "except..." "We’ll take it from here, game operator". You turn around and see the senior guard. Apparently she’d been watching from a distance with two of the king’s guards. "That suit looks good on you." Sure enough, you look down and see that you’re wearing the tuxedo. Your old clothes have disappeared to god knows where. It’s a little unsettling to have your attire change without notice, and you find yourself feeling strangely calmed by the familiar furry rustling in your pants. "I’d say it’s time you met the king, wouldn’t you?", the senior guard says, "but I think we can lose the sunhat now, yes?" She pulls the sunhat off your head and sends it flying into the air. "Well?", she asks. > _ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites