The Mysterious Man With the Sandal-Sock Combo

[Trogdor The Burninator]

Okay, so on my journey to visit my relatives we had to make a quick pit stop (bathroom break, of course) and once we arrived and I got comfy....I realized I was in a stall with no toilet paper. Great, right? So, here I am...waiting for 15 minutes, trying to come up with a way to escape the clutches of the gas-station bathroom. Until a man with socks and sandals and a "brilliant" idea came into my mind.

"WAIT! Sir, could you please get me some toilet paper."

*thirty second pause*

"Yeah, sure..."

*Door closes*

"He's not coming back...............crap."

-2 minutes later-

"Comin' under."

"Thank you."

END SCENE

And that was my epic bathroom story. Thank you for reading through my literal crap, if you have an input, feel free to comment. Tell any random summer-time stories or those of good luck if you like. I doubt anybody cares, but I felt like sharing my adventure today.

[Nirsicle]

A few weeks back, I ran into the Quiznos to get a turkey sandwich. Some random gray-haired guy that looked like he could be my dad started talking to me.

"So the turkey here is good?"

"It's pretty good." I replied.

A few moments went by and I noticed that he was staring at me.

"Do you go to the local college here?" he asked.

"I'm not in college yet." I said.

"Really!" He seemed pleased by this fact. "You don't look like it! You really don't. You really don't..." and continued to stare. Mildly disturbed, I tried to avoid eye contact while waiting for my sandwich.

He approached me again. "So what's your name?"

"(First name only here)"

"Hi, I'm Steve!" he said, holding out his hand.

I shook his hand and gave him a nervous smile, then sat down to enjoy my sandwich. By this point, my mom walked in to join me. Steve didn't talk to me again once my mom sat down with me, but he went out of his way to still look at me (I was sitting behind a poster) without my mom noticing.

I didn't like Steve. D:

So that's my summer adventure story. My encounter with Creeper Steve.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

Creeper Steve. Like....Steve from Blues Clues?!?!?!

[Nirsicle]

Creeper Steve had gray hair, a purple polo shirt, and khakis.

So I think this guy was a little old to be Blues Clues Steve.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

It could've been, you don't know what Steve looks like now, I mean after he got put in jail and was replaced by Joe, anything is possible.

[Nirsicle]

I thought Steve quit the show.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

I've heard multiple rumors like that he went to "college" and did drugs. Which I can believe, need a break after talking to a green screen ALL DAY.

[Brütal Ke$ha]

Are those true stories? They're pretty epic. Here's something that happened to me last night:

I'm at a concert and I'm walking along and then this fat, drunk metalhead with a shiteating grin stops me

'I know you from somewhere man'

A bit puzzled I reply 'where's that man?'

'Dude I saw you in the matrix'

I'm thinking this guy is pretty drunk, so I'll just try to get away without making him mad or being rude

'Oh, really? I don't think I've ever been there'

'Naw dude, you and your twin man. I saw you, in the second one.'

Now I'm thinking this stranger might be talking about the movie, but I'm drawing a blank on it. Then his drunk friend buts into the conversation:

'But he dosen't have red eyes'

Now I'm thinking I'm to sober to get what they're saying and I said so.

'Naw man, you were there, I'm sure you and your twin, with the sunglasses'

Then it hit me like a woman being cheated on: he was referring to the albino twins that were in the matrix that had dreads, they sort of looked like me. Then I decided to play along

'Oh yeah man, I was there. I almost killed Neo'

'Yeah man...'

'SLAYER' Someone yelled and the guy that I was in mid-conversation with stopped, dropped his beer and started hooping and hollering for Slayer, I joined in.

'Dude, you want to get into the pit for Slayer?' The stranger asked, I didn't want to but I knew the guy was about to launch into an explenation anyways. 'What you do is, you fold your ticket around your wrist so the white part is sticking out and they'll think your a VIP man, then you just have to jump like this' then he jumped and started waving his arms around, since he was fat I found this extremely amusing.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

THAT kicks the living hell out of my story. I'm gonna' go die now for having the lamest life on the face of the planet.

[Nirsicle]

Man!

I love drunk people at concerts. Except the last drunk person I encountered at a concert was some chick that kept on trying to hit on my dad. And kept on wanting to shake my hand.

[Brütal Ke$ha]

I've got another drunk person story from last night that is shorter and harder to write well, but it's pretty funny. Also one with a girl who got ditched and a buddhist monk at the tailgating party in the parking lot.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

One time, when my dad and I were in New York City seeing a friend, we ended up going to the "Blue Note" bar, because the friend happened to be in a band that was playing there. After the show, we walked around a bit and talked, and after a few moments where the details get fuzzy, my dad ended up taking a picture of me with my arms around 5 girls in front of the bar at 3 o' clock in the morning. I felt like the coolest 13 year old. Ever.

[Nirsicle]

My dad and I did something like that once, except it was at Disneyworld.

Good times.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

*Awaits Brutal Bill and a story that pwns ours*

[Brütal Ke$ha]

hot = super spy, like the guy from that movie (the one where his daughter gets abducted and then he kills everyone)

trog = superpimp

nirsicle = pimp dressed like mickey mouse

This story hails from last night at the same concert as the story above...

There was this really slutty dressed girl walking around and she was obviously looking for attention. She was wearing like a booty skirt that was black with a bright yellow thong underneath with a teeny belly shirt on. Then when she was walking by this one guy made the mistake of looking at her a second to long and she started to act like she was suprised someone was staring at her and like it was uncalled for. She kind of stared at him, gasped then sort of ran away in that was that slutty girls do where they make themselves jiggle a lot. Then a whole bunch of people started yelling at her and booing because they were drunk. Then she turned around and started staring at everyone and acting innocent. Then this guy started shouting expllicit remarks at her then when she turned around to shout something back this fat old drunk guy came up behind her, put his arms around her and started dry (?) humping her. Hundreds of people were watching and everyone started cheering.

The moral of this story is don't be a slut if you don't like what comes with it.

[Nirsicle]

...Wow.

Hey, what am I supposed to be? I want to be super too.

[Trogdor The Burninator]

I think Dave Chapelle said something like that once. Funny stuff. I would be the fat guy in that situation, since I am a superpimp.

[Brütal Ke$ha]

I edited it for you nirsicle, and also telling stories like this should be taught in school. It takes some practice, and lots of people never figure out how to do it. I type more funny stories than I type essays, yet I still never get instruction on how to do this. I'm not especially good at writing these stories, but I've got some material fresh in my mind. :-P

[Trogdor The Burninator]

Yes. I look forward to seeing that material. I assumed this thread would fail and nobody would be able to get past the fact that I was crapping, even though everybody does and it's a way of life.

[Nirsicle]

I like my super position! Thank you.

I was brainwashed into writing proper essays, so if any story needs to be transformed into a literary analysis, just throw it at me. :lol:

[Trogdor The Burninator]

I just about bite at everything. But I'll try it because I've already made myself look stupid before and have gotten used to the feeling.

[Leroy Octopus]

This one happenend a couple years ago, so I might be a bit fuzzy. I had walked down to the supermarket down the street to get myself a soda. When tall man who was inexipicibly holding a basketball started a conversation with me. I was a bit wierded out by this and awkwardly responded. We talked for a few seconds about how people should be friendlier and talk more, then out of no where he said, “Wanna go to breakfast at my mom's?” I said , “Uhm, naw I'm good.” I then got my soda and got out of there as fast as possible.

[Brütal Ke$ha]

You should've gone. I never turn down a free meal. Actually that's a lie I have.

This guy has got telling stories down:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQTG2U8Bh4I

Watch it to the end, despite what it seems there is a really good plot twist.

[JJkul]

Let's see. uhm.... uhh..........

I can't think of anything, so I'll make one up.

One time me and my brother were at this concert in Dallas. We don't know the city well so we were late, and I guess the band was having a bad night. They were practically falling over drunk. Lots of people were booing and throwing thier joints at the lead singer. Well, this drunk guy gets up on stage, takes a guitar that was lying around, and decides to sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". I guess everybody was so high that they decided to join in. Funniest thing I've ever seen.