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Happy birthday. I got you the ability to buy rated M games and go to rated R movies.

but still not old enough to watch porn!

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I got it from an unofficial site, so there's no receipt. You can always regift it, though, if you don't like it.

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It's my dick in a box.

Happy birthday, man.

But that means you're either holding the box in an extremely awkward and obvious manner or...

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It's my dick in a box.

Happy birthday, man.

But that means you're either holding the box in an extremely awkward and obvious manner or...

SURPRISE! Turns out it's just a box full of lighthouse gummies.

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