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Megapower124

I'm working on a point n' click... lol, jk snarling animals are supa balla.

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Hey Double Fine fans... Double Fine fans? Is that what I call you? I'm sorry, I'm not used to this forum. But anyway, some of my friends and I are working on a Point and Click adventure about inept bullies and the logistics of their insults.

http://www.indiegogo.com/YenYurki

The video kind of sucks, so read the description thoroughly and/or watch the update video. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to email us at YenYurki@gmail.com

Thanks.

Edit: Thanks forum master for the advice about putting some substance here. Also, I am am looking for actual critique, not just to advertise.

Original campaign video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cKoxPz53To

Update #1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Np1MoE3utE

(much better)

Description-that's-to-long-to-put-here: http://www.mediafire.com/view/?2b4ycsxiko4c3ws

I'm sorry i couldn't write the description directly in here, it's a couple thousand characters to long.

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The good part is that you're making an adventure game.

The bad part is that the concept is fucking retarded as shit and the game its self looks like shit and you appear to only have joined the forum to advertise this shit.

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I joined the forum because of Adventure, I didn't plan to post much on here, I admit that. You know, the 90-9-1 rule (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1%_rule_(Internet_culture) )

Also, try to be more constructive with your criticism. From what I can tell, you're misinterpreting the concept and art a little bit. When I say you'll need to use what they say to solve puzzles, I mean you will basically have to solve a riddle to find out the items you need then you'll need to solve legitimate sense-making puzzles to get said items. Plus there's always the option to solve the puzzle in a logical way.

As for the "and the game its self looks like %#$@&!" part, the icon I use for the campaign is a doodle I made in my notebook of the main antagonist, I currently don't have a drawing tablet or photoshop to make it look, you know... good. The picture I used of the 8-bit sprite in a room was just a concept shot, I didn't think I explained "pixelated character over fully rendered world" well enough to just leave it at that.

But thanks for leaving a legitimate response instead of writing "no" and leaving a bad demotivational, or writing "I hate you please die" and leaving it at that.

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Well quite frankly that's what you're going to get from *advertising* a concept you have not even finished on a board that is not really related. Advertisement is quite badly looked upon, in case you missed it.

If you REALLY came here for critique and not just adver, the very least you can do is stop assuming that people have an account on whatever website you uploaded your info on and actually share what you want people to see. We ain't here to hand you free pageviews, and I'm sure as hell not going to memorize another password for an e-mail account I'm never going to use. Or whatever that site is even used for.

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My criticisms are as follows:

The Game

It's a neat idea in concept. It reminds me of the text adventure PataNoir, which is entirely based on the idea that all metaphors used in the dialogue and narration of the game can be taken literally and used to solve a puzzle. For example, if the game tells you that the cigarette you're smoking glows red like the embers of a dying fire and an NPC looks at you with cold, emotionless eyes refusing to talk to you, then all you have to do is use the embers on his eyes, and suddenly he feels like talking to you.

You guys are kind of doing a similar thing, but your idea is "what would happen if you could take stupid insults literally"?

It's a fun concept and could potentially work as a point-and-click, but it leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

Why am I being insulted? Do I have to do anything to receive an insult or do I just walk into a room, someone insults me, and then crazy stuff starts to happen?

At the end, you start talking about procedural outcomes, such as changing the course of the gameplay based on the solutions players devise to earlier puzzles. You're just two guys, and I don't know how much experience you have, but based purely on the look of your age, I would guess "not enough", and so all of that sounds like you are either biting off more than you can chew or else you don't know what you're talking about. Which brings me to...

The Pitch

I'm not sold and I will be brutally honest as to why:

1. The quality of the video is not very good. I can tell you put a lot of thought into fleshing out the ideas you have, and you've got organization and everything, but you're asking me for money, and the video doesn't look professional enough to make me trust that this is serious.

2. You both look very young. That's not your fault, and in a way that's not fair to you. It could very well be that you both know a lot about art and programming (and not just video editing) and have already made a lot of games as a hobby. But I don't know anything you've made, and my immediate reaction upon seeing the both of you sitting there is that you can't possibly be experienced enough to do all of the things you are saying you want to do, and the more ideas you rattled off, the more I began to question whether you actually knew what you were saying, programming-wise.

3. You had no prototype, concept art, design documents, or previous work to show me. Furthermore, you told me you don't have access to any of the "fancy software" needed to make your game, which says to me a) you don't have any game making software, which probably means you've never made a game, which probably means you don't know what you're talking about, and/or b) you are unaware that there are plenty of free game engines out there for making your own games, some of them specifically providing tools to build adventure games.

In short: There have already been cases of crowdfunding fraud and people are increasingly on the lookout for people who are trying to use crowdfunding sites as a way to take advantage of people on purpose or getting funding for projects they will never finish because they don't know what they're doing. My gut reaction to your pitch video is that you guys seem like the latter.

I could be wrong, but that's how it seemed to me.

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You have three posts, you signed up to shill your game like about a hundred other guys before you. I'll say it again: I hate you and your ilk for coming onto a forum where people actually hang out and talk to each other and soliciting (in clear violation of the rules) without contributing anything else of value first. So please leave/die I don't really care, but you need to go away.

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scrow stop telling them to die. they're just kids.

kids: please pirate photoshop. everybody does it. if your game ever makes any money, put your first dollars towards a legit copy.

unity has a free version. you can even sell the games you make with it. please use that.

what are miscellaneous assets? cheetos? you don't need cheetos. fatty.

ask for one of these for your birthday. they only cost $100.

upshot: you can start making your game now without having to beg people on the internet for money! (if you really really want to, you can buy the student edition of photoshop for like $200. that's just two weeks of mowing lawns.)

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I joined the forum because of Adventure, I didn't plan to post much on here, I admit that. You know, the 90-9-1 rule (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1%_rule_(Internet_culture) )

Also, try to be more constructive with your criticism. From what I can tell, you're misinterpreting the concept and art a little bit. When I say you'll need to use what they say to solve puzzles, I mean you will basically have to solve a riddle to find out the items you need then you'll need to solve legitimate sense-making puzzles to get said items. Plus there's always the option to solve the puzzle in a logical way.

As for the "and the game its self looks like %#$@&!" part, the icon I use for the campaign is a doodle I made in my notebook of the main antagonist, I currently don't have a drawing tablet or photoshop to make it look, you know... good. The picture I used of the 8-bit sprite in a room was just a concept shot, I didn't think I explained "pixelated character over fully rendered world" well enough to just leave it at that.

But thanks for leaving a legitimate response instead of writing "no" and leaving a bad demotivational, or writing "I hate you please die" and leaving it at that.

Scarecrow no. Let him die.

Does this guy think this site is an advertising site? Does he not acknowledge this is a community of awesome people DAMMIT

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scrow stop telling them to die. they're just kids.

kids: please pirate photoshop. everybody does it. if your game ever makes any money, put your first dollars towards a legit copy.

unity has a free version. you can even sell the games you make with it. please use that.

what are miscellaneous assets? cheetos? you don't need cheetos. fatty.

ask for one of these for your birthday. they only cost $100.

upshot: you can start making your game now without having to beg people on the internet for money! (if you really really want to, you can buy the student edition of photoshop for like $200. that's just two weeks of mowing lawns.)

The fuck needs graphics? Text based coded in basic in your free time is the only way to make your first game.

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Huh, Few I know the goal of snarling badger is to intimidate/knock sense into people, but honestly it's kind of cute.

I picked that one because it was all "derp SNARL RAAAAARW"

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It's just ["img"]["/img"] Without the quotes.

Edit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGG!

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I want one of these

Pomeranian-Puppies3.jpg

Oh my god, I love pomeranians. They're so cute, although my favorite toy dog are pugs.

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I made an update addressing some of your concerns here: http://www.indiegogo.com/YenYurki?c=activity&a=574361, if you really don't want to click the link, I put it down below.

!

!

V

Addressing your most voiced concerns.

I went on to the Double Fine forums to see if anyone would critique Yen Yurki and the campaign, Although I was heavily criticized because they considered it advertising, I was able to find some really important criticisms and I would like to address them.

You may be surprised how easy it is to make a lot of the procedural outcomes we have planned. The minor things that will change depending on the minor things you do can be programmed very easily, you can simply make a “do this puzzle incorrectly” variable, and depending on how high or low said variable is changes how angry or how ecstatic someones dialogue may be, of course this won’t change much, but it will be fun to program, fun to write, and spark curiosity of those who play if they want to do a second play through.

Another concern is the multiple puzzle options. It’s important to note that we aren’t talking about a fractal level of change, where everything continually splits and you’re left with an infinite amount of puzzles. We’re talking about something that resembles a fractal, but curves into itself, and your left with the same basic line but with branching paths. We are going to finish the game no matter what, even if (and let’s hope it doesn’t come to this) we need to phone it in, or remove some features in the end. But we can be almost certain that won’t happen.

The only reason we don’t have any real concept art to show you is because we don’t have photoshop or a drawing tablet, thus making us pretty incapable of showing of what we we’re doing.

We also do have quite a decent amount of experience with game making. Except our time in vanilla Java, Flash, and Scratch isn’t considered prestigious enough to flaunter.

We hope this update was helpful in deciding whether or not to donate.

Also the forum post is right here if anyone wants to check it out.

http://www.doublefine.com/forums/viewthread/6821/

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ok my son i am going to say this again just to make sure you get it

you can start making your game right now. i know the whole indiegogo idea seems really fun and like you really need $2600 and all this expensive stuff to make your game, but you don't. you can start making it for free (or $100 if you really want a tablet). free is good!

there is free software to replace all the expensive stuff you want. Paint.net and GIMP have much of the functionality of Photoshop. "But it's not as good as the expensive stuff!" you say. that's true, but you don't need the best right now. does an amateur chef need $10000 platinum pans just to make something delicious? no, of course not.

also, flash is a perfectly respectable platform for making games. scratch is also very cool. flaunt it!

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Wow at some reactions. These guys are still youngin's. Give them some slack.

Fair enough, but i have to say: They tied their own noose in a way; i think there even was another topic like that on the same page; they basically ran into an open knife. No matter the age and what happened here before: Showing up with a rather sub-standard pitch for their project will not leave a good impression, i'm also not sure how realistic it all is, it doesn't seem thought through. This also was pretty much the fist thing we've seen from them, which didn't help either.

In a way it was a very predictable reaction, and while it was to rough indeed, i have to say, looking at the facts there was no way around a negative reaction.

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Wait wait wait....

So you do have some games you've made lying around, but you don't want to show them to us? And what's stopping you from making some sketches and scanning them in? Or even photographing them so we know they exist? That would be kind of like me, as an author or a scientist, trying to apply for a job by saying "Well, yeah I wrote a bunch of articals, but I'm not going to show them to you because I don't think they have enough pizazz." Not exactly the best way to inspire confidence.

Second, don't use words that you don't understand. Your use of "Fractal" makes it sound like you're parroting buzz words at us. 8^/

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SuperStock_662-2022.jpg

Aw, Yorkies are so damn adorable. Too bad they're so yappy.

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this concept doesn't seem very well thought out at all. show me a prototype, a trailer, a demo, past games, anything. I'd have to be a moron to put money into something that, as far as I'm aware, will never exist.

that said, you especially do not need $2600 for this. I assume you're still living at home. your parents feed you, pay for your insurance, bills, school, etc.. get a job if you want to buy a cintiq or unity or whatever it is you think you need. just remember that none of that stuff is going to automatically make you good at what you're doing :U

if you want to be realistic, spend $20 on (or just torrent) gamemaker, pirate photoshop, and just start making your game. I don't mean to gloat, but it worked out pretty damn well for me, not to say hundreds of other people.

SuperStock_662-2022.jpg

you know you're just keeping the thread bumped, right?

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