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thread for the discussion of uncomfortably serious real life problems (seriousness level: milla's secret room)

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say i have a sexual fetish for a particular group of people (for example, clowns) and i also support the same group philanthropically (i donate to clown shelters). is it wrong if my sexual fetish influences my desire to assist this group socially, as opposed to having purely altruistic motivations?

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Personally... I don't see how that could be bad?

I mean, it's causing you to do something good; even if it is for what people may categorize as the "wrong reasons."

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sorry guys even when trying to make a serious thread i compulsively try to make jokes. i believe it is a defensive mechanism i use to avoid facing uncomfortably serious real life problems, and is probably an uncomfortably serious real life problem in itself.

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At first I wasn't sure how I thought about it. But then I decided that clowns can indeed be sexy:

7a48728868fbc3741d6d4b06a403d7f2_w500_h450_cp_sc.jpg

I have mixed feelings about clowns personally, but I met a neuroscientist the other day who re-energized my positive feelings for clowns. I think at their core they are a good thing, but they are such an obvious symbol of joy that the cliches involving scary and sad clowns were inevitable, really. We must never, as a people, allow an ironic cliche to change our opinion on a demographic. Like gentle-giants, must always remember that large people are to be feared and when we see large people we should never assume that they are happy and inherently pacifists or gentle because of their size. We must remember clowns are inherently a happy people.

Scarecrow, I think your dilemma is difficult for anyone else to judge but the fact that you are aware of it and questioning it shows that your intentions are good. I think the internet is generally a liberal place and you can only do so much good pushing for the rights of a people on the internet but it's important to realize that homosexuals/transgender people still have a long way to go before they get the respect that they deserve across the country and in the grand scheme of things your actions can still be important in changing people's opinions about the actual issue, don't lose sight of the good that can ultimately come out of it.

I doubt the organizers of the civil rights movement in the 1950s had a rule excluding all the honkeys with jungle fever from helping protest.

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*looks at sexy clown girl*

fuck

That out of the way. Thanks for your take Bill. I feel better. I mean it's never been something I've felt too bad about. And that's why I question it. Anyways this is a good thread I think and I will use it with semi regularity.

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At first I wasn't sure how I thought about it. But then I decided that clowns can indeed be sexy:

7a48728868fbc3741d6d4b06a403d7f2_w500_h450_cp_sc.jpg

I have mixed feelings about clowns personally, but I met a neuroscientist the other day who re-energized my positive feelings for clowns. I think at their core they are a good thing, but they are such an obvious symbol of joy that the cliches involving scary and sad clowns were inevitable, really. We must never, as a people, allow an ironic cliche to change our opinion on a demographic. Like gentle-giants, must always remember that large people are to be feared and when we see large people we should never assume that they are happy and inherently pacifists or gentle because of their size. We must remember clowns are inherently a happy people.

Scarecrow, I think your dilemma is difficult for anyone else to judge but the fact that you are aware of it and questioning it shows that your intentions are good. I think the internet is generally a liberal place and you can only do so much good pushing for the rights of a people on the internet but it's important to realize that homosexuals/transgender people still have a long way to go before they get the respect that they deserve across the country and in the grand scheme of things your actions can still be important in changing people's opinions about the actual issue, don't lose sight of the good that can ultimately come out of it.

I doubt the organizers of the civil rights movement in the 1950s had a rule excluding all the honkeys with jungle fever from helping protest.

You just went into detail about your feelings towards clowns. I like it.

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yes it does. but try to remember the good things you've got going for you

a) you don't live in a cardboard box

b) you're not dying

c) you live in a nice, relatively peaceful country

etc.

try to remember the opportunities you have

a) you can get a job

b) you can finish school

c) you can be a ballerina (maybe not)

etc.

so the point is that life sucks only because you let it suck. this is kind of a double-edged thought, because you can slip into thinking "oh what is the matter with me, why am i letting it suck?" it is also an empowering thought, because the only obstacle to your success is your current mindset. it's not like you're a kid in africa who's obstacle to success is an real-life evil dictator or something, ya know? if nonetheless you still feel like you fall on the despairing side of the sword, words alone can't help you. you should seek out a real counselor, or at least someone you can talk freely with. maybe join a church or a club and get involved somewhere. it's all easier said then done, though. in the end you just have to reach down deep inside and convince yourself "i'm not going to let it suck anymore. i will seek out and accept support." nobody knows how to do that. that's up to you.

^ (afterthought: advice that is perhaps for my sake as much as yours)

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Good advice. It just seems a lot like I'm constantly doing things wrong. Like I can't ever be comfortable with myself because the moment I am someone comes along and says: "Hey you, stop slouching."

I guess I get tired of pushing my rock up the hill.

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background info for those who don't know yet: a couple years ago my social anxiety and depression problems caught up with me and i ended up dropping out of yale. yes, the yale. to get readmitted i have to get a letter of approval from a psychologist. i haven't done that yet. i've been trying to get jobs in the meantime, but since i haven't worked in the past year it is surprisingly hard. today i got a call for a job interview. it is for the position of General Front-End Clerk. basically pushing carts and bagging groceries. the lowest man on the totem pole, besides the janitor. i am trying to be humble. i am trying to be calm. i am trying to see this as a stepping stone, something i just have to do until i finally get a psychologist to write a letter saying i can manage myself. which will happen. i am making progress. but then i think about how i went from motherfucking yale to doing bitch work for 8 dollars an hour. and it is hard.

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Sorry, it's not you it's me. I'm just not creepy enough to stalk you, I have failed you.

In seriousness though. I think it's best not to worry about where you've come from or where you are now. You're obviously aware of how you got there and that's the important part. Life is full of ups and downs, you've got ups in your future, just solider on until you get to them.

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background info for those who don't know yet: a couple years ago my social anxiety and depression problems caught up with me and i ended up dropping out of yale. yes, the yale. to get readmitted i have to get a letter of approval from a psychologist. i haven't done that yet. i've been trying to get jobs in the meantime, but since i haven't worked in the past year it is surprisingly hard. today i got a call for a job interview. it is for the position of General Front-End Clerk. basically pushing carts and bagging groceries. the lowest man on the totem pole, besides the janitor. i am trying to be humble. i am trying to be calm. i am trying to see this as a stepping stone, something i just have to do until i finally get a psychologist to write a letter saying i can manage myself. which will happen. i am making progress. but then i think about how i went from motherfucking yale to doing bitch work for 8 dollars an hour. and it is hard.
I'm in the same situation, though I did have the opportunity to go to the Air Force through the academy, but I am too fat right now so I am working on that. Also you must have gotten many scholarships to get to go to Yale? You should be fine if you were that good at appealing to people to give you that much money.

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I think what you need is something to get your mind off of things besides just games and talking to us on the internet. Maybe take up writing something. Game reviews maybe. That's what I plan on doing at some point.

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I think what you need is something to get your mind off of things besides just games and talking to us on the internet. Maybe take up writing something. Game reviews maybe. That's what I plan on doing at some point.
yeah, i'm trying to get a job so that i have less time to complain about my life on the internet. but it would be good to occupy more of my time with hobbies too.

@smeld most of the scholarship actually comes from the university, so i didn't have a big problem there. though i do think i am good at impressing people in writing, and in interviews. the real problem is that i kind of freak out in groups greater than 4 or 5, and while i somehow suppressed it in high school it just got unmanageable in college.

also here is some movie magic to explain my feelings about life:

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I think what you need is something to get your mind off of things besides just games and talking to us on the internet. Maybe take up writing something. Game reviews maybe. That's what I plan on doing at some point.
yeah, i'm trying to get a job so that i have less time to complain about my life on the internet. but it would be good to occupy more of my time with hobbies too.
I'm not saying you have to stop complaining. I'm just saying doing something creative can help you feel more accomplished even if you have a crappy job.

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I'm dealing with anxiety and depression as well. I've been told by my folks, my teachers, and my classmates that I'm not artistically talented, not capable of getting a job, not capable of getting a date, not capable of making friends, that I was stupid, annoying, ugly, clumsy, etc. Whenever I stood up for myself, I was told that I deserved to be yelled at, and that I was the one in the wrong, not the others.

I feel for you, hot. I have faith in you. You're a cool bro. I know you can do this.

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I'm dealing with anxiety and depression as well. I've been told by my folks, my teachers, and my classmates that I'm not artistically talented, not capable of getting a job, not capable of getting a date, not capable of making friends, that I was stupid, annoying, ugly, clumsy, etc. Whenever I stood up for myself, I was told that I deserved to be yelled at, and that I was the one in the wrong, not the others.

I feel for you, hot. I have faith in you. You're a cool bro. I know you can do this.

If people aren't giving you the faith and support that you deserve as a human being (and as a child and student especially) than they don't deserve your ear. There's meaningful and helpful criticism but if they haven't anything positive to add than they aren't worth listening too.

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I'll join the pity bandwagon. Up until my sophomore year of high school I had great grades, great friends, and great aspirations. Everything seemed to suggest that I'd get into a reputable school and do something notable. Then something happened. I have always had problems with anxiety, but at that point it started to get overwhelming. Instead of driving me to doing good work, it started to stop me from doing anything I couldn't do perfectly. In other words, anything. I watched my grades drop, my friends drift away from me, and my aspirations fade away. Now I'm a student who gets C's and D's, spends too much time worrying about how I'm letting people down to fix myself, and has the delight of knowing that I only have a year left before I learn just how big of a piece of shit I am. My opinion on myself is best summed up with the Wingnut Dishwasher's Union lyric, "When I was growing up I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because, I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite."

I think that you guys can overcome it. It takes work, but that's what therapists and such are there to help you with. Good luck.

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*hugs Kirby and Scarecrow* Thank you, guys. I'm just...I need to get over my anxiety. Sometimes I think there must be something wrong at every point in time, someone I need to apologize to, someone who I hurt unintentionally, and some of my friends can't understand that I just need to hear "Everything's fine," and I instantly don't feel bad anymore. It's getting better, but there are some who don't get it or aren't supportive at all. I don't want things to be wrong. I don't enjoy this, being sad doesn't make me feel better. I am seeing a therapist. I kind of wish I could take medication, but it's not an option right now.

I believe in you too, Insomnia. I wish you the best of luck.

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One of my biggest regrets is not pursuing anti-anxiety meds during highschool/college (though I've always had an anxiety problem, it peaked during these years, and was pretty crippling). If I had a do-over, or if that level of anxiety ever recurs for me, I would definitely look into them.

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